Icicles, a mediator fanfic FanFiction

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Icicles

Summary. One-shot. Suze POV. J/S. He’s withering away and as he does, so do I. I’m scared that one day I’ll wake up and he’ll be gone – alongside a part of me.

A/N VERY bitty. VERY disorientated. This is completely intentional, but very hard to write, so please bear with me. The sentences are very bitty and dissected intentionally – see, I’m experimenting with a different writing style, but using my regular writing style for other parts… it’s kinda hard to explain.

The good side is this’ll be completely unique. XD

Con crit would be nice. If you don’t like the writing style, fine – that’s your opinion, but it’s how I’m writing this.

Huge apologies for the ending of doom, but endings seem to be my weak point. I can never write them well. Pffffft.

Also, I’m not really a romance person or a J/S shipper, so this was extremely hard.

I’m worried.

I’ve noticed it for a while now, but he hasn’t. He’s been fading as he’s got happier, as we’ve become satisfied with our relationship and as we were just in paradise – absolute bliss.

I’m scared to tell him –to fully admit it to myself –that he’s withering away and as he does, so do I. I’m scared that one day I’ll wake up and he’ll be gone – alongside a part of me…

Breathe.

Looking around, shaking, desperation – can’t see anything, just black, black, black. Used to the black – not like this. Not usually alone. Scared, not working things out, getting dizzy, nearly falling…

Don’t forget to breathe.

Slipping to floor, on my knees, staring around, desperately calling him, needing him… Too used to him. Too dependent, now.

This is all wrong, wrong, wrong.

Need him… crave him… need him…

Jesse!

Shimmers of materialization, leaping forwards to meet him, say hello, grasping shoulders…

Bitter cold. Icy touch…

Falling through to the floor, hitting the blackness with a soft thud, staring upwards in confusion, gaze met with chocolate brown eyes…

What’s happening?

Trying to stand up, world spinning…

The blackness swirls away like a vortex, leaving me kneeling on the carpet in my room, crying, with Jesse looking at me in concern and confusion. I realize that I must have accidentally shifted – this is confirmed when I feel like a boulder has split my head open. Nonetheless, I don’t react to the pain; I just look at him in sorrow.

«Jesse,» I croak, staring at him hopelessly.

«Susannah?» he asks, concerned. «Are you alright?»

I don’t answer; just look away and stare at my hands in bewilderment.

«Susannah?» he repeats hesitantly, walking towards me. «Let me help you…»

I jerk away. «No!» I yell, making Jesse raise an inquisitive eyebrow.

«Querida, what is wrong with you?» he asks softly, moving forward while I back up, staring at him, until my back hits the bed. I freeze and Jesse keeps on coming. «I shall assist you,» he says and grabs at my arm to pull me up. He doesn’t, though – his hand goes right through me.

Despite my having seen and made contact with ghosts many times, I leap backwards, clutching my hand to my head, as my post-shifting headache seems to increase ten-fold.

He’s gone right through me…

Jesse…

He also looks like he’s in complete disbelief this time.

I obviously hadn’t been hallucinating.

«Jesse,» I intone soberly, suddenly looking him right in the eye. «You’re… you’re…»

I can’t say the words. I stare and wonder whether someone’s playing a horrid joke, though I know I’m really just searching for excuses.

«What is this?» he asks furiously, «What is going on?»

My voice breaks. «How should I know?» I stare up at the ceiling, attempting not to cry. Whatever Higher Power there is, he sure seems to love making my life a nightmare. «This isn’t funny, you know!» I yell at the ceiling, making Jesse stare at me as if I were a madman.

Nothing happens to change anything.

I sigh, closing my eyes, swallowing in a strange sort of sorrow I thought that I’d never experience.

«Susannah,» Jesse comes over to me and plants his lips on my forehead – or as near to it as he can get, anyway — giving me a gentle kiss. «Everything will be fine. I promise.»

«You… promise?» I ask, opening my eyes, then slamming them shut again at the sight of Jesse, who appeared to be… flickering? No. This cannot be happening! No, no, no, no, no, no, no…

«What is…» he begins, before he gets cut off with a sharp gasp.

My eyes snap open.

Flushes of heat, melting icicles of doubt…

«Jesse!»

Transparency, things you want forever are almost out of sight…

Forever…

«I am here, querida. «

Muffled voices, almost inaudible, sounds like being smothered…

Silence. Then, small whispers, feeling like being grabbed…

Slipping to floor again, edging away from the foreign feeling, the temperature in the room chills…

«What’s happening?»

The world spins to a stop.

He’s nowhere to be found. He’s gone. Weakly, I let my head slip down onto the floor, banging it, making it throb with pain but I am past caring.

To give away a part of your soul and have it vanish…

Pure torture…

My soul is split. it feels like it’s gone.

Dependance is a horrible thing!

I need, I crave, I want.

. Jesse!

I can’t do this.

And I look up to the ceiling, throw back my head and scream.

A/N: I am the worst ending writer… EVER. Oh well, I tried. I started this piece 6 months ago, and I was determined to finally finish it. God, it’s difficult. So even if the end is absolute rubbish, it’s finished. I’m quite fond of the beginning though. Hehe. Anyway, review.

Fans of my other fics, I’m going to update either Zamochit (probable) or Off the Pedestal (less probable with the amount going on in that chapter and lack of reviews) this week. I will update Demands sometime soon, any DBZ fans reading this. And soon, HP fans, I’ll update Pathway to Doom. I just wanted to do some Mediator first, but this one shot IS Mediator, so y’know.

I’ll probably update Blood Lust soon too, despite it only having 1 review! Hey, I like it, anyway — one of my best pieces alongside Corruption. in my personal opinion, as well as the longest. Any HP fans, please read Corruption. review, read the sequel — Blood Lust - and review. Anybody who’s read it before and just hasn’t reviewed, I revised the first chapter last month, so you may want to read it again to make sure you know what’s going on. Hinting at some later plot points which will show the storyline isn’t necessarily that far-fetched, and may explain a lot about Harry.

The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.

+    —       Full 3/4 1/2    Expand Tighten   

Icicles

Summary. One-shot. Suze POV. J/S. He’s withering away and as he does, so do I. I’m scared that one day I’ll wake up and he’ll be gone – alongside a part of me.

A/N VERY bitty. VERY disorientated. This is completely intentional, but very hard to write, so please bear with me. The sentences are very bitty and dissected intentionally – see, I’m experimenting with a different writing style, but using my regular writing style for other parts… it’s kinda hard to explain.

The good side is this’ll be completely unique. XD

Con crit would be nice. If you don’t like the writing style, fine – that’s your opinion, but it’s how I’m writing this.

Huge apologies for the ending of doom, but endings seem to be my weak point. I can never write them well. Pffffft.

Also, I’m not really a romance person or a J/S shipper, so this was extremely hard.

I’m worried.

I’ve noticed it for a while now, but he hasn’t. He’s been fading as he’s got happier, as we’ve become satisfied with our relationship and as we were just in paradise – absolute bliss.

I’m scared to tell him –to fully admit it to myself –that he’s withering away and as he does, so do I. I’m scared that one day I’ll wake up and he’ll be gone – alongside a part of me…

Breathe.

Looking around, shaking, desperation – can’t see anything, just black, black, black. Used to the black – not like this. Not usually alone. Scared, not working things out, getting dizzy, nearly falling…

Don’t forget to breathe.

Slipping to floor, on my knees, staring around, desperately calling him, needing him… Too used to him. Too dependent, now.

This is all wrong, wrong, wrong.

Need him… crave him… need him…

Jesse!

Shimmers of materialization, leaping forwards to meet him, say hello, grasping shoulders…

Bitter cold. Icy touch…

Falling through to the floor, hitting the blackness with a soft thud, staring upwards in confusion, gaze met with chocolate brown eyes…

What’s happening?

Trying to stand up, world spinning…

The blackness swirls away like a vortex, leaving me kneeling on the carpet in my room, crying, with Jesse looking at me in concern and confusion. I realize that I must have accidentally shifted – this is confirmed when I feel like a boulder has split my head open. Nonetheless, I don’t react to the pain; I just look at him in sorrow.

«Jesse,» I croak, staring at him hopelessly.

«Susannah?» he asks, concerned. «Are you alright?»

I don’t answer; just look away and stare at my hands in bewilderment.

«Susannah?» he repeats hesitantly, walking towards me. «Let me help you…»

I jerk away. «No!» I yell, making Jesse raise an inquisitive eyebrow.

«Querida, what is wrong with you?» he asks softly, moving forward while I back up, staring at him, until my back hits the bed. I freeze and Jesse keeps on coming. «I shall assist you,» he says and grabs at my arm to pull me up. He doesn’t, though – his hand goes right through me.

Despite my having seen and made contact with ghosts many times, I leap backwards, clutching my hand to my head, as my post-shifting headache seems to increase ten-fold.

He’s gone right through me…

Jesse…

He also looks like he’s in complete disbelief this time.

I obviously hadn’t been hallucinating.

«Jesse,» I intone soberly, suddenly looking him right in the eye. «You’re… you’re…»

I can’t say the words. I stare and wonder whether someone’s playing a horrid joke, though I know I’m really just searching for excuses.

«What is this?» he asks furiously, «What is going on?»

My voice breaks. «How should I know?» I stare up at the ceiling, attempting not to cry. Whatever Higher Power there is, he sure seems to love making my life a nightmare. «This isn’t funny, you know!» I yell at the ceiling, making Jesse stare at me as if I were a madman.

Nothing happens to change anything.

I sigh, closing my eyes, swallowing in a strange sort of sorrow I thought that I’d never experience.

«Susannah,» Jesse comes over to me and plants his lips on my forehead – or as near to it as he can get, anyway — giving me a gentle kiss. «Everything will be fine. I promise.»

«You… promise?» I ask, opening my eyes, then slamming them shut again at the sight of Jesse, who appeared to be… flickering? No. This cannot be happening! No, no, no, no, no, no, no…

«What is…» he begins, before he gets cut off with a sharp gasp.

My eyes snap open.

Flushes of heat, melting icicles of doubt…

«Jesse!»

Transparency, things you want forever are almost out of sight…

Forever…

«I am here, querida. «

Muffled voices, almost inaudible, sounds like being smothered…

Silence. Then, small whispers, feeling like being grabbed…

Slipping to floor again, edging away from the foreign feeling, the temperature in the room chills…

«What’s happening?»

The world spins to a stop.

He’s nowhere to be found. He’s gone. Weakly, I let my head slip down onto the floor, banging it, making it throb with pain but I am past caring.

To give away a part of your soul and have it vanish…

Pure torture…

My soul is split. it feels like it’s gone.

Dependance is a horrible thing!

I need, I crave, I want.

. Jesse!

I can’t do this.

And I look up to the ceiling, throw back my head and scream.

A/N: I am the worst ending writer… EVER. Oh well, I tried. I started this piece 6 months ago, and I was determined to finally finish it. God, it’s difficult. So even if the end is absolute rubbish, it’s finished. I’m quite fond of the beginning though. Hehe. Anyway, review.

Fans of my other fics, I’m going to update either Zamochit (probable) or Off the Pedestal (less probable with the amount going on in that chapter and lack of reviews) this week. I will update Demands sometime soon, any DBZ fans reading this. And soon, HP fans, I’ll update Pathway to Doom. I just wanted to do some Mediator first, but this one shot IS Mediator, so y’know.

I’ll probably update Blood Lust soon too, despite it only having 1 review! Hey, I like it, anyway — one of my best pieces alongside Corruption. in my personal opinion, as well as the longest. Any HP fans, please read Corruption. review, read the sequel — Blood Lust - and review. Anybody who’s read it before and just hasn’t reviewed, I revised the first chapter last month, so you may want to read it again to make sure you know what’s going on. Hinting at some later plot points which will show the storyline isn’t necessarily that far-fetched, and may explain a lot about Harry.

The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.


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